Marriage – The Government – The Future.
Well, I meant to get this written before the Supreme Court Ruled but time hasn't permitted lately but that doesn’t mean it hasn't been on my mind. Also I hope people will think about what I write and not just respond with inflammatory and emotional rhetoric.
As we undergo the media hoopla, some important things we need to remember. As the Christian community bemoans the Supreme Court ruling on gay marriage, they must remember that the church actually does not control the right to marry people. Marriage is authorized by the government. For you married folks out there, remember back at the end of the ceremony when the minister or officiant said something to the effect, “By the authority vested in me by the state of ******, I now pronounce you man and wife. The government authorizes your marriage. Remember the key elements to a marriage are (!) both parties say “I Do”, (2) the Officiant says “You are”, and (3) THE LICENSE IS SIGNED AND RECORDED IN THE COURTHOUSE.
The state / federal government (actually the state more than the federal) sanctions marriage as well as divorce. Proof that the government controls marriage is shown by the fact only the state can authorize a divorce. People are divorced in court, not in church. Also the government controls who can perform the ceremony. This is shown in the marriage of X-Men / Star Trek Next Generation's Patrick Stewart. The officiant at the ceremony will be Ian McKellan ( X-Men / Hobbit - Gandalf) From Time Entertainment "McKellen won’t need to add “Father” before his “Sir”: although many people who perform weddings for friends do so by becoming ministers through the Universal Life Church, that step is unnecessary in Massachusetts, where McKellen said the wedding would take place. The Bay State offers a “one day marriage designation” that, for $25 and a character reference, allows any friend or family member of the couple to legally perform a wedding.” (http://entertainment.time.com/2013/03/19/sir-ian-mckellen-to-marry-sir-patrick-stewart-no-not-like-that/)
Other evidence of the fact marriage is controlled by the government and not the church, Justice of the Peace' perform marriage ceremonies and they are not ordained church people.
One important thing about he Supreme Court ruling is that it does not ram gay marriage down the church's throat so to speak. Churches have the right to decide within their denominational structure if they will or will not perform the ceremony. The Federal government cannot actually force state to do as much as we think. Remember when the federal government made the speed limit 55 mph (who can forget?) Some states wanted to keep the speed limit at 70 mph. The response from the Federal government was basically to the effect, We can't make you set the speed limit at 55 mph but if you don't we will withdraw all federal highway funding. Federal funding is like an addictive drug that once the state is “hooked on and can't live without, then the federal government can demand their way or threaten to withdraw the money the state can't function without. This is why the federal government cannot demand churches marry gay people (despite what some emotional people have said.). The only leverage the government has to exert its will upon the churches is via the tax exemption (and the threat to remove it) on church property and operations and that is at the state level.
Some church denominations will decide for the entire denomination. Other denominations will allow each church to decide although the denomination will exert “influence and pressure” on the individual churches to follow along with their views. (Again like the government, they can “withdraw support” and other things to exert their will.
One side note concerning church weddings. There is no outline for a Biblical church wedding. Nowhere in the Bible does it outline how a wedding is performed or the words to use. Ministers have books reflecting the wording used within their denomination but the Bible itself does not tell us the words to use. God seems to be more concerned about people taking marriage seriously more than how we do it. Examining passages such as Genesis 11:29 and 24:67 show marriage but not how. Apparently they were married according to the local custom of the time. I do not want to get into the issues of early Bible times with men having multiple wives, that is best left for another time, but the issue is, God intended marriage in whatever form to be taken seriously. Sad to say, some, many of those bemoaning gay marriage are not in line in their own lives in terms of marriage. I guess you are a literalist until it become inconvenient to your own situation, then the its ok to bend the rules. But I digress so that is all I will say, reflect on it.
Another side issue to marriage and the church. Ever wonder why so many people are not getting married in churches anymore? Increasingly couples are having ceremonies performed at other venues. In addition to not having a church minister perform the ceremony, people are getting married in other venues such as restaurants, barns etc. It is amazing the number of entrepreneurs that have constructed theme sites dedicated to weddings. I have witnessed church almost torn apart because the granddaughter of a long standing member of the church wanted to play a lovely country song at their wedding. (It was very nice and appropriate in my opinion). But the powers that be committee ruled no secular music or songs could be played. (Amazing fact – there is no such thing as Christian music, it is the words that define it, not the music.) Funny thing is so many churches allow “The Wedding Song” by Peter Stookey (of Peter, Paul, and Mary fame) even though it is secular. It is a secular song with definite religious wording. In fact it is difficult to actually define church music. The nearest I could find to defining church music is it must be found in the church hymnal. (Which one doesn't seem to matter.)
My Bottom Line – If I was licensed, ordained, had the permit from Massachusetts, or whatever, would I perform a gay marriage? No. Sorry but that is my choice. I have gay friends who I think the world of but if I was a officiant, for now I would not do the ceremony, I hope everyone can accept that as both sides need to have understanding of the other. I do exhort the Christian community that is so upset about gay marriage to reexamine their role in this world. Their task is not to condemn others but to help others in relationship to God through Christ and the Holy Spirit.
The Future - ?
Even now as I watch the news, conflicting reports about the impact on California's Proposition 8 abound but the future is clear. As the number of states grows, the number of problems will grow in terms of people who are married in one state and not married when they move to another state. Eventually it will go to the courts and inevitably, like it or not, marriages recognized in one state will be recognized in all states.
The issue of gay marriage is a civil matter to be determined by the courts, not by the churches. The government cannot force the churches to perform gay marriages but the church has no say on if gay marriages can be performed. It is not their jurisdiction. Years ago when most weddings were done in a church, except for a few Justice of the Peace ceremonies, most people considered marriage ceremonies the domain of the church. Now we see that weddings are the domain of the government.
I hope this post will generate some honest discussion and not glib same old cliques.
